she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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