So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Mom said you looked used
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
