8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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