he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
