how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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