How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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