Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize