I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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