Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
