Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
