They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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