we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize