dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
