Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
