u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
