Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize