why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think your dad took our porno
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
