I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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