I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
