So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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