Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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