Dual....:-)
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He did a backflip because drugs
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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