I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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