Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
