So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
