butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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