She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like