new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He felt like a one man threesome
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity