p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.