Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now

(810): View more from Michigan

But I don't think guys love me

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(810): Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now (810): But I don't think guys love me http://tfl.nu/t9jt

Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (913)
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(616): View more from Michigan

He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.

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(616): He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it. http://tfl.nu/cs3e

Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (572)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome. http://tfl.nu/21pe

Replies (22) Good night (29295) Bad night (1234)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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(832): i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life. http://tfl.nu/zh94

Replies (51) Good night (4916) Bad night (593)
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(917): View more from New York City

M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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(917): M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/5zhv

Replies (22) Good night (7328) Bad night (1128)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

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(250): He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock... http://tfl.nu/tura

Replies (15) Good night (5779) Bad night (1478)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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(519): He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier. http://tfl.nu/icz2

Replies (9) Good night (3744) Bad night (1124)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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(573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa

Replies (12) Good night (1680) Bad night (797)
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(708): View more from Illinois

If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later

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(708): If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later http://tfl.nu/o4md

Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (899)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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(575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf

Replies (10) Good night (1727) Bad night (525)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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(202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady

Replies (0) Good night (1119) Bad night (467)
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(305): View more from Florida

When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

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(305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw

Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (289)
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(305): View more from Florida

I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.

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(305): I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon. http://tfl.nu/f8kn

Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (365)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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(570): I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen. (1-570): T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met. http://tfl.nu/8lnr

Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (696)
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(323): View more from California

This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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(323): This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin. http://tfl.nu/blfu

Replies (0) Good night (664) Bad night (265)

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