Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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(714): View more from California

Who was that guy you went home with?

(1-714): View more from California

Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.

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(585): View more from New York

remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.

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(760): View more from California

Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun

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(310): View more from California

Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.

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