He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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