Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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(616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs

Replies (22) Good night (1206) Bad night (4464)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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(812): Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA. http://tfl.nu/7ezh

Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (1479)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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(603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5

Replies (22) Good night (4393) Bad night (596)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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(732): I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches http://tfl.nu/f64u

Replies (19) Good night (3966) Bad night (1111)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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(404): Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs. http://tfl.nu/4a67

Replies (18) Good night (5891) Bad night (1065)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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(208): Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas http://tfl.nu/3mqp

Replies (7) Good night (4063) Bad night (804)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard

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(770): I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard http://tfl.nu/zjac

Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (2446)
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(703): View more from Virginia

When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.

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(703): When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship. http://tfl.nu/12c3

Replies (6) Good night (2965) Bad night (712)
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(925): View more from California

Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.

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(925): Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip. http://tfl.nu/xswv

Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (930)
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(804): View more from Virginia

she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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(804): she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener. http://tfl.nu/h6je

Replies (12) Good night (2147) Bad night (2712)
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(435): View more from Utah

Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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(435): Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed. http://tfl.nu/zk8r

Replies (29) Good night (5870) Bad night (1180)
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(707): View more from California

After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

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(707): After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing. http://tfl.nu/fnd4

Replies (10) Good night (579) Bad night (1035)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.

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(330): The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg. http://tfl.nu/v4p7

Replies (3) Good night (1300) Bad night (395)
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(708): View more from Illinois

i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard

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(708): i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard http://tfl.nu/5qs2

Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (628)
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(830): View more from Texas

Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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(830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks

Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (379)

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