i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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