Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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