Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
