I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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