I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
