He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize