Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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