i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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