dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
