Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
