THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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