I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
