You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
