that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
