Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
