This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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