Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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