White coat. Heels.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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