Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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