i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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