can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
