remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
