his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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