do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
