If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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