Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
