The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Alive.
So much puke
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
