apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
