how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize