yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
