yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
