she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Found the puke drawer
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
