she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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