he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
