Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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