Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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